Marriage 101. Why are men so????? A happy marriage takes work and hear my ideas.

Hi...I just want to veer away from art a bit to go into real life….I don't understand men...they do things that are so annoying and then they expect us women to unravel their stupidness. I've been married 28 years and sometimes its difficult to know how to be around my husband. He is a very intense man and because he runs our business, he has a lot on his mind and can seem very far away, so I'm sometimes unsure how to be around him. In his deep moodiness I try to interpret what is happening but what happens sometimes is a mis-communication and a mis-interpretation and no one asks or says anything.

A fine example is this morning, we decided to go to the gym for 5am, we started doing that every week, but we missed last week. At least I missed last week. So I was prepared to get up early, pack and go off to the gym. Now the last time this didn't happen because he woke up late and wasn't feeling well, so we didn't go that day so all my/our plans were changed. This morning we got up kinda late (because normally he would rush me if we get up at 4:35am). This morning he seemed to be lazing, so I figured he wasn't going to the gym again. I asked if he was ok he said yes then I said "I'll walk later" because I thought he wasn't going to the gym . Lo and behold I get dressed for work and as I am packing the car he is dressed for the gym.

I guess in trying to interpret his mood I read it wrong and he never asked me anything because I said I would go walking in the afternoon. I was reallllly pissed. But its my own fault. I try to pussy foot around him when I'm unsure of his mood and instead of asking I try to interpret and I get it wrong and everything else goes wrong and I end up pissed and disappointed. MY FAULT. JUST ASK!!!!!

Marriage can be soooo difficult sometimes and it can also be very fun and pleasant but it's times like these when I'm pissed and annoyed at the situation and myself that I get really frustrated. No I'm not opting out of it and I'm just venting as usual. I feel disappointed because he didn't even ask me anything or push me to go with him. But then again he was under the impression that i changed my mind and didn't want to go to the gym, that I had decided to walk later in the day, so what was there to ask? Again all of this could have been avoided if I had asked a question.

Luckily for my family I don't stay angry long. But I did feel disappointed...not sure why...I guess because I wanted to exercise as I missed a few days the week before and I tend to baulk from exercising and I only do it when he pushes me and he didn't push or try to talk me out of it. AH WELL!!!

Later when he arrived at the office, he apologised but I stopped him to explain it was my fault and he did nothing wrong. The poor man, he must have been confused because he knew when he went off to the gym, he left a very angry woman behind. What did I do after he left to go to the gym (because it was way too early to go to the office)? I went to my room and penned this post. It calmed me down, helped soothe my anger, got me in a better mood and by the time I had finished writing this post it was time to leave for the office. I knew I was wrong and reaching early in the office I was able to decorate it for Christmas, do some emails and be in a great frame of mind when he arrived. I had even stopped off to buy him breakfast, whatsapped him that I had done so (I knew he would be ravenous after the gym) and I was in a much better mood when he did arrive at the office.

Ladies marriage takes work but we also need to know when we're wrong. Admit it, say you're sorry and make it up to your man. They too need to do the same when they are wrong. It's a two way street. Marriage is a 50/50, give and take not a constant taking. You met an individual with a certain personality, don't expect to change them, learn to love who they are, the good and the bad and if you can say yes to their good and bad sides then you can have a good marriage.

Like I said I've been married 28 years an its been great, yes we had a bad patch once, all marriages do (totally my fault) but it can be fun and it can be worth it. So hold out and work at it. Check you later and thank you for allowing me to use this medium to vent and get into a better space mentally and emotionally. Love you guys....inspite of the faces unseen : )